i’m not sure EXACTLY when i fell off so tough, but i’ve adandoned music…or it’s abadoned me. it used to be easy to run across some indie talent and spend the day submerged in their expression. now, i’ve been so far removed i’m not sure when i’ll get back. i hope that eventually, with this path a higher power is guiding me to walk, i’ll tap back into all the joys i’ve left behind to become ‘a responsible adult’.
…..mind you, that’s wack and misleading. lol.
music molded me. no wonder i feel bottled up and unable to let it out.
i’ll give it a week.
in this day and age, with the occurrences that one person from the sticks of some bumble’fuck-backwoods town can myspace their way into the hearts of many, it’s not surprising that we see more ‘ego’ in today’s society.
is that the cool thing to be now? cocky without credibility? inflated by ‘empty’ gas ups? that’s cute?
the internet breeds all these egos…ergo…’e-go’. you don’t find many ppl that posses that cool aire of sexiness, that seamless sense of confidence, that lil ‘something something’ that draws people to them. everyone is just too caught up in their fabulousness to really develop the confidence one will need as a foundation.
….when folks get tired of seeing you naked
….when your connections run dry and you’re no longer a resource
….when you finally realize they’re laughing at you and not with you
what do you do then? will you still be as confident ?
*clears throat* general public, ‘spies’, people, and press…. i was in dumb love with a dumbass.
i say he’s a dumbass for the simple fact that a lot of shit he did was …well..dumb. and he has an ass. so..dumb..ass..get it? [aigh, that was wack, i know lol]
how, some ask, did i get there? dunno. liked him a lot, mostly for who he was…not what he could ‘buy’ or if he called me pretty. i dug him. him and all of his silly flaws, insecurities, and personas. i loved that he told me the truth (about most things) and respected me even when i did things that would make one question. i loved that i could be myself around him and he did as well. most of all, i loved that i thought i had a friend in this beautiful creature. crazy, huh?
yup. it all made me change and grow up. i’m actually quite proud of myself. for the longest i just wanted to extend myself to make it work, but it’s not about that anymore. he made me find the line i thought i didn’t have…ya know, the one that symbolizes what you will and won’t take. i take a lot bc i’m adaptable. i think he knew that lol.
anyhoo, long story short, i deserve some damn brownie points. it’s been some rough days, some horrible nights, and a lot of reflection. yada yada…i’m good. ‘love’ doesn’t do what was done….and i finally committ to not wasting my love on those who show me they don’t want it.
</yet another relationship blog>
promise, the next one will be completely irrelevant to this bullshit :) lol
